Why I didn't want to call myself a lifecoach
“I’m the only one that needs to give myself permission to do what brings me and others joy.”
I'm a Millennial...
Since I’m committed to being vulnerable in this blog, I’m just going to get it out there and say, I am a millennial . I say that with a cringe because in my experience, millennials have taken a beating. Maybe every generation feels this way, but I feel “millennial” has a negative connotation. We get a bad rep.
Stereotypically speaking, millennials are lazy, uncommitted, and entitled. We don’t want to work in the traditional sense, we want accommodations, we push the boundaries, and don’t work well under a boss. We don’t want to put the time and effort in, we want shortcuts and want to do it our way, so we’re flaky and flighty. We don’t stick to anything that we don’t want to do so we’re off doing the next big idea, but again, don’t have the commitment to do it when it gets hard or inconvenient.
And a Life Coach...
I’m a millennial and I’m also a life coach. When I think of the “life coach” stereotypes, I immediately think of the caricature millennial-someone who wants to make a difference, but doesn’t really know how. After all, “if you can’t do, teach”, right? They have no training, haven’t done anything with their own life, but create an aura of authority to tell you what to do with yours. In a year, they have moved onto another adventure.
And Who cares?!
Then I thought about what I would tell someone else who found their dream job and held back because of what other people would think. I’d say, “Who cares?!”
I’m the one that knows my heart, my desire to serve others, my experience of freedom and fulfillment I’ve had through coaching, and my strength and abilities to help others with the same. I’m the only one that needs to give myself permission to do what brings me and others joy. I could sit here and defend each of the stereotypes, but I really don’t need to. And neither do you. You are the only one that has to be at peace with your choices. As I was working through this process, I noticed a few things in myself that you can ask yourself as well:
Where are you letting what others think stop you from playing big?
When I care about what others think to the extent that it changes my behavior to a smaller version of myself, I shrink back into less than what I’m capable of and created for. This is a lose-lose situation. EVERYONE loses in this scenario. I lose because I don’t get to express myself fully, become fulfilled, or enjoy life to its fullest. Others lose because they miss out on the unique gift I have to give. Needs go unmet and people go unserved. They also lose out on the inspiration to reach for their own capacity and fulfillment through watching you. I understand this is easier said than done. In fact, expressing yourself fully and playing big can be one of the bravest things you ever do. One thing that I’ve found to help with this is surrounding myself with people that believe in me and also believe in themselves.
Where are you assuming what other people are thinking in the first place?
In reality, I can’t recall a single experience I’ve had where these stereotypes were spoken to me. Granted, verbal communication is only one way of communicating (and the least effective form) so maybe they’ve been communicated to me on some other level of communication, but it’s also very likely that I allowed one instance of something I picked up to become truth about how everyone feels. And this experience then led to me assuming that’s how everyone feels about life coaches. When in reality, that is highly unlikely. And again, even if the majority of people believe this way, it doesn’t matter! I’M the ONLY person that needs to be ok with my choices!
Where are you blaming OTHERS for your OWN thoughts?
If you go a little deeper, and you’re anything like me, maybe the root of the judgmental thought was...you. It can be easy to blame others or “stereotypes” for YOUR thoughts. In my case, I had owned these perceptions and judgements about what a life coach was in myself prior to more knowledge and understanding as to what it really was. I’m not sure where they came from. Maybe I met someone that identified as a life coach to whom I already had some of these judgements? Maybe I was jealous because it was my dream job and I wasn’t in a place of being open to it so I told myself a story of why I didn’t WANT it? I’m not sure, but I can be aware of this in the future. Other questions to ask yourself deeper in this questions may be: Where else are you letting your judgements and misconceptions block your joy? Where can I be more open-minded? Where are you looking outward where you could be looking inward?
Tell me More
Tell me how you played big and fought through insecurities about what other people think on my facebook page at www.facebook.com/melaniebirky